i went out this morning and bought new nike’s. i hate buying running shoes. i like when they are broken in… but not worn out. i always buy the same brand: nike, and then the nike plus system so my ipod keeps track of how far i’ve ran. i bought a pair for $100 from a nice dude at sportchek. i also bought a sweet nike dryfit running jacket with handy-dandy pockets. that made me excited. even though it was $50.
& then i came home and set out to run 5 miles. most. painful. run. of. life. about one mile into my run, the balls of my feet start hurting. around mile 2, it’s hurting worse. around mile 3, they are literally SCREAMING to my brain: stop, stop, stop. i ran 4.5 miles instead of 5, and i’m not kidding you, said OUCH out loud about 35 times. easily. i felt like crying so many times. i re-tied my shoes about four times during the run and nothing helped. now my feet and arches hurt even more than they did after saturday’s run. GR. why is this so hard sometimes? so that’s my vent. enjoyed it hey?
i went out to run 3 miles, because i wanted to see if my feet would still hurt. they felt good for the first mile, then after that they started hurting and once i finished they were definitely numb and burning and just not feeling good. i was frustrated.
usually would be running 5 miles today, but i decided to rest as i’m switching my long 9 mile run from saturday to friday. so the plan was, rest wednesday, cross thursday, long run friday. well. i rested. but i also got really really depressed at my feet. and mad. and frustrated. and really PMSing and emotional about it all and FREAKING OUT because the half-marathon is 19 days away. i want to be the type-A-go-getter-accomplish-all-no-matter-what person that i love being and run through it. run through the burning and the pain and cry during every run from here on out for all i care. but i’m afraid. that if i run through this i’ll wake up five days before the half-marathon completely injured and unable to run.
i can’t help but keep thinking of the 9.5 mile run i did a week and a half ago. the one i LOVED. the one that was so peaceful. so perfect. made me feel like a long-distance runner. i felt strong and excited and it was awesome. and now even 3 miles hurts. i want to act like a five-year-old right now and throw a temper tantrum and ask Jesus with a face full of tears for some new feet. pronto!
so here’s what i have. it’s Morton’s Neuroma and it hurts. i bought new insoles that should help, but it won’t just fix what’s already been done. here’s the plan, stan. i need to NOT run for the next four days. so that means missing my long run. (i hate not following my training plan.) it means i’m going to be bored out of my mind on the elliptical. it means i’m going to complain on here a lot and have to ask Jesus to give me a personality transplant so i don’t act like a spoiled grouch about all of this non-running stuff. AND, it means four days from now i’m going to try to run again and see what happens.
this half-marathon means a lot to me. a lot. it’s something i’ve wanted to do my whole life and it’s 18 days away and i just want it. i want it really really bad. so i’d appreciate your prayers. and i’m thankful that this is just another opportunity for me to trust the Lord and His plan.
40 minutes of cross-training at the gym.
30 minutes of cross-training at the gym.